Have you heard of the phrase “being held over a barrel”? It means to put someone in a helpless position; to put someone in a difficult situation.
I can relate to this. I have been in this situation before. Many times, actually. Believe it or not, it was my fault each and every time. At the time, I may have blamed the person that did it to me. But, in the 100% responsibility environment that I live in now, I realize that it was me that allowed myself to be “held over a barrel”.
Let me explain.
There were times, prior to running my own business while working as a sales person, that I hated my job. I felt trapped by the fact, and I believed it to be true, that I didn’t have the knowledge and skill to find another job. I felt that I was being held over a barrel by the job itself.
Again, completely my fault. I had the knowledge, skill, and courage to go out and find something better, but just didn’t know it. I eventually did, obviously.
Another time was when we had our mortgage business at a previous company. We felt that trapped feeling again by loan officers/sales people. Ones that produced and brought revenue into the company, but had bad attitudes and weren’t good for the culture. We would put up with their antics because we thought we needed that revenue and we weren’t confident in our abilities to replace that revenue. We let them put us in that situation.
Maybe it is a relationship where you feel like your partner is taking advantage of you, the relationship, or not treating you properly. You put up with it because of a lack of confidence in yourself to be happy without that person. You lack confidence to find someone new or in your ability to support yourself.
Why do we do this?
Remember, it isn’t the other person or thing’s fault. It is us that allows ourselves to be put in these trapped situations.
The reason that we allow this is because we lack confidence, knowledge and don’t currently take enough action to always be growing or improving.
Complacency leads to lack of confidence.
When we aren’t consistently reading to gain knowledge, working on ourselves mentally , physically or professionally, you fall into a trap. You end up in a position for someone or something to have the opportunity to hold you over a barrel. It is a self sabotaging situation.
I want you, today, to stop allowing this to happen to yourself. I have made you aware of how this happens. Now you have the knowledge. So, become the best at whatever you do.
If it is work or sales, be able to do it yourself if you need to. That way you can tell someone to beat it if you need to. You will okay doing that because you will survive on your own until you find the right person to replace them.
If it is a relationship, work on staying in shape, eating right, make sure your money is right. This will prevent another person from holding you hostage because you can’t find someone else, can’t be happy without them, or support yourself.
Enough is enough.
Put your foot down, commit, and never be held over a barrel again!
Your Boy, C-Roc 👊🏽😎